For 37 years, I’ve focused on the church as a movement.  Leadership in particular has been one of my favorite subjects; and the practice of leadership, an art with which I’ve been fascinated.

I’ve had the privilege to live through some true revolutions in the way church is done in America.  And yet today, with all of the tools we have available to us, I feel somewhat bored with the whole movement.

I wondered why and thought, “maybe it’s me, maybe it’s my age, maybe it’s what I’ve been through with bumps and bruises along the way.” But I’ve come to realize it’s none of these.  It’s my assessment, and remember it’s only mine, one little opinion that what we’re stuck in today is not revolution but evolution.

I know that’s a dirty word for most Christians but that really is what’s going on in the American church leadership scene.  We really have no revolutionaries, just people re-saying old things in (at least sometimes) interesting ways.

With blogs and social media, with all the tools available to us, every person can become their own authority.  And some can even attempt to become a rock star.  It’s easier than ever to produce CD’s, DVD’s, books, have tours, networks.  It seems like everyday a new coaching network pops up.  And when you dig down below the surface, basically you have someone trying to build a clientele.  And I’d be the first one to admit that there is nothing wrong with that.

As I’ve gone to conferences and perused the ones that are available that I’ve decided to forego, I’ve come to this conclusion:  Leadership in the American church right now seems to be mildly to strongly narcissistic. It really is all about the coolest, hippest, hottest, new, semi-super star on the scene.  I could tell you that there are a few super-stars out there.  I won’t name them because you’ll shoot down the list.  But they’re there; truly great men and women who have led revolution.  But most of the up and coming leadership, as smart and bright as it is, are imitators.  I call it the narcissism of minor differences.

Here’s why I’m turning my focus away from the subject of leadership.  It’s because we do have some truly great leaders; a lot of great things are being said.  But it’s the old things being said again, which teaches me this: it’s very easy to get lost in the art of leadership and forget what and why we’re leading.

The church of Jesus Christ is not an institution, as much as we’d like for it to be.  As much as we try to master the skills of organizational building, of finance, of public relations, of marketing and advertising.  The church as a spiritual movement cannot be contained. It breaks out where it will.  It grows where it will.  Most of the pastors of the great growing churches today really have no idea why they are growing other than a simple commitment to the deep and profound truth that God loves us as we are and not as we ought to be; that He has sent His Son and created a massive, worldwide movement of redemption, restoration, and reconciliation.

I’m not saying “I’m done” to leadership.  I’m just done with making the subject of leadership more important than it is.  I’m going to begin to focus on people, the effect the gospel has: the three R’s – redemption, restoration, and reconciliation.  The truth of the matter is, it’s all about relationships; connecting people to God and each other for the purpose of changing the world. Not studying the latest book, or worshiping at the altar of the latest guru, or reading the latest blog, or being fascinated by the latest twitter of some really cool something that someone has done.

Tomorrow I’ll tell you about what my new passion is and how that focus is going to change everything I do.

Today @ The Gathering we brought our current series, “Inspire Greatness” to a conclusion with the message, “You Attract What You Are.” If you wonder why you don’t have stronger friendships and better people in your life, ask yourself this question:  “Are the people around me a reflection of me?”  What you’ll find if you’re honest, is that you have around you the people that have been attracted to you because you’ve been sending out a certain message.  For example:

1. If you have people around you who seem calm and collected on the outside, but all fretful, worried and paralyzed by fear on the inside, you’ve attracted ducks. That’s what ducks do don’t they?  They look calm floating on the pond, but underneath their little feet are working  feverishly, tirelessly.
2. If you have around you people who are constantly back-biting and gossiping about each other; if relationships are constantly broken and in need of repair, if someone always is angry and pouting, then maybe you’ve attracted parrots. Parrots are birds that repeat what they hear.  If you have gossipers and repeaters around you, maybe you yourself are a gossip.  One of the hardest things to face is to realize one day that you are the person who has caused the turmoil because you have spread the lie or a half-truth.
3. If you have around you people who have every reason to be thankful, but no power to be so, then you’ve attracted turkeys. Turkeys are the only ones who have to die in order to attend the Thanksgiving Day celebration. In other words, if you’re around people who have found no reason to be grateful, who have a victim’s mentality, it may be that’s what you’re displaying.

On the other hand, if you gather people around you who are inspiring, who bring out your better angels, then you’ve attracted eagles. We talked about the three ways in which you attract good people into your life.

1. By becoming a practical model. That is, you model the kind of behavior you seek.  That’s what we do as followers of Christ.  We have two motivations: love and generosity.  We’re teachers at heart.  We’re not selling anything.  We’re not trying to force people to change or comply with a code.  We’re people who are motivated by love.  We want to set people free.  We want to be generous.  We model the behavior that is consistent with who we are in Christ.
2. By becoming a practicing mentor. A mentor is a model who you’ve brought close.  Models can be people you read about in the Bible or in books, people you’ve seen.  But mentors are people who are right around you.  They are the people you ask into your life, who come close to speak into the way you spend this precious thing we call life.
3. By becoming a principled motivator. The Scriptures tell us we are to spur one another on.  A spur is what a cowboy uses to get his horse to advance.  A lot of people misread this verse and think that what we’re supposed to do is spar, to argue, to separate, to nag, or to compare.  We’re to spur one another on to love and good works.  These are the things that motivate us.

The genius of how Christianity has changed the world is found in these three principles: the principles of modeling, mentoring, and motivating.  Each one of us is called to carry out these activities. We are called to be models of what it means to be loving, generous, and godly; to be mentors, to engage, to ask people to walk with us, to submit to their counsel, their advice.  And also do that for others.  We’re to be connected to each other.  The simple purpose of The Gathering is to connect people to God and each other for the purpose of changing the world.  This is a simple strategy.  That’s why we specialize in God simple, not church complicated.

We’re coming to the end of our current series, “Inspire Greatness.” I’ve been very gratified by the feedback.  It’s exciting to see people really get beyond the survival/victim mode to a place where they really believe that using their everyday lives and everyday efforts they can inspire other people to a higher place.

We’re really going to hit the sweet spot this weekend by talking about how we attract the right kind of people in our lives.

This is really important, particularly for those of you who are looking to get married.  What you are thinking is, you’re asking God to bring Mr. Right or Mrs. Perfect into your life; that somehow you will see this right person and the light will come on and you’ll know this is a potential marriage made in heaven.  If that’s what you believe you’re going to be waiting a long time.

Maybe you’re a person who is looking for a new job or career, and you’re searching out there and sending your resume to just the right place. Maybe you’re a person who works your day’s work and then goes home to an apartment somewhere, orders in pizza and sits on the couch and watches TV until you fall asleep, cursing the world simply because you don’t have any friends. Maybe you’ve been divorced more than once and you wonder why you can’t find a good person.

Maybe it’s wake-up time, time to realize you attract what you are.  Instead of trying to look in the right place for the right people or person to marry, or the right woman for you, you need to focus all of your attention on being the right kind of person. The right kind of person attracts the right kind of person.

You attract what you are. If you are a loser, look around you and see who you’ve attracted into your life.  If you are a chronic complainer, listen to the people’s conversation.  If you’re damaged and wounded, what do you do?  You attract people and then run them off with your weirdness.

If you’re sick and tired of shallow, short-term, meaningless relationships, and you’re ready to attract winners around you, then this weekend is for you.  I’ll teach you right out of the Scriptures the three important roles that you play as you seek to bring the right people around you.  And let’s be honest, without people, you’re going to fail.  It doesn’t matter how well-educated you are, connected, what your parents did, you are going to succeed in direct proportion to the kind of people you’re able to attract and be around you over time.

No one succeeds without great people on your side, loving you, being generous to you, and creating goodwill.  If you don’t know how to do it, this weekend is a great time for you to be at The Gathering @ 9:00 and 10:30.  You’ll be glad you did. We’ll teach you how to make the connections that could change your world forever.

It seems a little odd, doesn’t it, that so soon after the event she is writing a book to air her grievances.  And from a certain point of view, she really doesn’t have anything to complain about.  Yeah, I said it.  This woman shouldn’t be writing a book complaining about her unfaithful husband because she joined him in his plans to be unfaithful.  How do I know?  Read on.

It was announced that when they were going over their marriage vows some twenty years ago, he objected to the word “faithful” and wanted it taken out.  And she capitulated.  And in the moment she did, she joined him as a co-conspirator in the demise of their marriage. What was she thinking?

What is it with all these weak women who will give in to almost anything to get a man down the aisle, to get him to say “I do,” maybe in the hopes that “I’ll change him later?”

Ladies, when you date a guy, he comes “as is.”  God can change him but you can’t.  Nagging won’t change him.  Compromising won’t change him.  If he is an unfaithful rascal when you date him and marry him, he’ll be an unfaithful rascal twenty years down the road.

Yes, I have sympathy for Governor Sanford’s wife.  Yes, he’s a pig. We all agree on that.  But before you get too teary-eyed over this poor woman’s pain remember, she agreed to it the day she married him.

Here’s my point.  Ask for what you want in a marriage up front, during the dating.  Talk about it. Get to know each other.  Set the standard.  Faithfulness ought to be a baseline. If your fiance` objects to using the word “faithful,” walk away.  No, don’t walk away, run away!  Because this is a person who promises you that after you help make them faithful, have their children, and serve them through a lifetime of faithful companionship, they will screw you over, kick you to the curb, and all you’ll have left is a tell-tale book that will make you a cautionary tale for your brief, fifteen minutes of fame

His name is Tom Howard.  Tom is a composer, arranger, writer, conductor, jack-of-all-trades here in the Nashville music scene.  A quiet, simple, understated guy like a lot of creatives are; sensitive, thoughtful, insightful, and always gentle.  And, I might add, way too hard on himself.  Know anybody like that?

When Tom passed away he was on a walk with his wife and friends last week at the age of 59.  It’s hard to believe he is gone and he won’t be there every Wednesday morning with a smiling face, with a gentle word, and his kind handshake.

The one thing I know about Tom is, he always sold himself short.  I find that a lot of really good people do that.  They don’t have an overestimation of themselves.  Often times they are way too hard on themselves.  Tom was one of those guys.  One of the reasons I know that is what happened yesterday at his funeral.

Tom was memorialized yesterday, on a Wednesday, in the afternoon, 2:00, at his church.  And the place was packed.  People were standing in the back and around the sides; hundreds and hundreds – I don’t know what the final count would be – but I would say close to a thousand people were there, if not more.  But here is my point.  Any man who can draw that kind of crowd on a Wednesday afternoon in Nashville, Tennessee is a man who’s impacted a lot of lives.

And it wasn’t just anyone, but it was the Who’s Who of the music business in this city: both Country and Christian, both believer and, might I add, skeptic.  It was a fit tribute to a life well-lived.  Here is my question to you: If you were to die suddenly today of a heart attack and we were to bury you on a Wednesday afternoon, would anyone show up?  Would we miss you?  Would there be people who tell stories about your humor, your gentleness, your grace, your intelligence, your willingness to sacrifice for others, your selflessness? Or would people find out about your death through an email and think, “Oh well.”

I’ve made this determination while I’m living, again, thanks to Tom Howard.  I’m going to spend my life making it as much as I possibly can, about others: loving them, serving them, building them up, being there for them, being selfless, putting my wife and children before my own pleasure, putting my friends before my own agenda so that when my days are over someone would be willing to inconvenience themselves on a Wednesday afternoon at 2:00 to come and say “good-bye.”

It’s not too late to live a memorable life.