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Download the series: “Inspire Greatness”

IG_IconIf all we do is recycle old ideas and attitudes, and do the same old things we’ve always done, we’ll get the same results we’ve always gotten. So as we begin this brand new decade, we’re going to be talking about the anatomy of greatness. To pursue it, to aspire, to dream, to do great things to honor God and help people is not only noble, but necessary.

 

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How to Cure Burn-out

Not a week goes by that I don’t hear this, or some form of this, said by a friend in distress: “Dave, I’m just burned out. I dread what I’m doing.  I have a lot of anger and I don’t know where it comes from.  I’m tired, I have no energy, and it’s hard just getting out of bed every day.”

If that describes you, or someone you’re trying to do life with, more than likely, you’re dealing with a person who’s burnt.

The number one culprit behind the feeling of burn-out is the loss of hope. Without hope in your job, in your marriage, in your relationship with God or other people, energy is simply drained out of your life.  But where there is hope, optimism, vitality, and anticipation for better days, seem to arise almost magically and effortlessly.

I finished the current series, “Messy Like Me,” yesterday by talking about the sixth type person you meet on the way to heaven: those who have skill, talent, training, ability, have a ton to offer their career, their families, and their churches, but they are burned out. We talked about the process of losing hope.  It starts with comparison and envy, and ends with anger.  We also talked about how you can have hope in increasing amounts.  Listen to the talk and ask yourself this question, “Am I burned out because I’ve engaged in comparison, I’ve become bitter over what I don’t have, and envious of those who seem to be doing better than me though they are not as smart as me or trying nearly as hard as me?”

Sit down with your team and go through the process of having hope and ask yourself that question.  Do I live every day with the mindset of worship and gratitude and thankfulness to God for my life, and the privilege to do what I do?  Do I stand in awe of God’s promises and His faithfulness to allow me to join Him where He is working?  These are vital questions and they need to be addressed before you can turn things around.

Pettiness Doesn’t Become You

I read an article just the other day by a well-known Christian artist who I highly respect.  I have benefited from his work, and have really been inspired by his willingness to be a renegade for God. But – and isn’t there always a “but” – this blog post I read was of him diminishing the ministry of another group that he had a bone to pick with.

And I thought, this pettiness doesn’t become you.  When we stop to publicly attack our critics or our competition, or almost anyone else for that matter, we’re the one who ends up looking small. Taking the high road isn’t just a good thing; it’s a God thing.  It’s how Jesus taught us to respond in the marketplace of ideas.  Actually, if you take the teachings of Jesus seriously (and we Christians do) we don’t have the right to attack each other publicly.  There’s a process for confrontation privately that leads to redemption and reconciliation.

When I read the pettiness of the people I admire, I don’t get mad; I just become afraid that I too could stumble into this pattern. Yes, we all have enough people who have come against us, opposed us, or (worse than both of those) ignored us, that we’d love to take a slice out of in public.  I do.  But I realize, each and every time, the commitments I have in the art that I create: is it helpful, is it hopeful, does it heal, and – oh yeah – is it true?

If You Can’t Afford It, You Don’t Deserve It

This week we talked about one of the most difficult people to help; and that’s the bored.  It’s been my firm conviction boredom has caused more destruction in the lives of good people than most of the vices we can mention, period.

We hear things like, “You deserve a break today.”  “You deserve a new car.” “You deserve a new house.”  “You deserve a trip.” And as a result, college debt, car debt, and other forms of consumer debt are holding untold hundreds of thousands of people in bondage all because when they were bored, with nothing better to do, they decided to reward themselves with something that would give them a temporary emotional high.

So how do you help the bored? What if you are just really bored.  You’ve been there and done that.  You understand Solomon when he said that everything is meaningless as chasing after the wind. Have you owned up to the fact that things can enhance your life but they can’t bring meaning to your life? It takes people.  And when you’re engaged in the lives of people, your life takes on a whole other color and texture.  And your motivation can go off the charts.

So in this week’s talk we talked about the road to bondage: how we go from freedom to courage, to success, abundance, consumption, assumption, and back to entitlement. We also talked about how to break free from the most devastating virus known to man: and it’s hardening of the attitude.

Control, Certainty, Clarity, and None of the Above

This past weekend at The Gathering was an important moment. It was one of those moments, as a speaker, where you absolutely know that you’ve heard from God, and have something really important to say.

I know, I know.  A lot of people think that, few people will say that, and anyone who dares, we always dismiss as being self-centered or self-righteous.  But this time, listen.  There are three things that God has told me to tell you, you can’t have.  I know.  I can’t have them either: control, certainty, and clarity.

I think that’s good news.  And that’s a bold statement, but it’s true. God is never going to give you control.  Yes, you do have control of your choices, but you don’t have control over what’s going to happen to you each and every day.  Some days in your life, maybe many days in your life you’re going to wake up into a new normal not of your own making.  Maybe it’s cancer, unemployment, divorce, even death.  These will be moments when you realize that God will never give you the one thing you want more than anything else in the world: control.  You’re never going to have true certainty.  You’re not certain of what’s going to happen today, but God is.  You’re never going to have clarity.  If I marry this person, can I clearly see the end of our marriage from the beginning? No.

Here’s what you can have.  You can have the comfort that comes from the growing confidence in the content of God’s promises.  Those promises are found in the Scriptures.  So this weekend as we talked about the bothered, the worried, and the anxious, we talked about the difference between a martyr, an exhausted fixer, and a resentful victim.  We talked about the comfort that comes from a growing confidence in God’s promises.  The truth is, you cannot control what happens to you.  You alone, though, control how you respond.  Will you worry and fret? Or will you find comfort in the content of God’s promises and grow a confident faith?  As the Swedish proverb says, “Worry often gives a small thing a big shadow.”

Betrayed, Bitter, or Better

Wow.  What a response to my talk today in our series, “Messy Like Me!”  I should have known that people would really resonate with the topic of betrayal.  Because, let’s face it.  All of us have had the bitter pill shoved down our throat.

One of my close buddies said to me on the way out today, “Dave, I’ve been listening to you for 12 years.  And this is hands-down, the best!”  Well, I appreciate my brother’s affirmation.  I’ll take all I can get.  I’m just as insecure as the next guy.  But I also know that the content has something to do with it.  Betrayal is something we experience and, let’s face it, almost none of us navigate very well. 

So today we talked about three different kinds of betrayal that you suffer.  We talked about the betrayal of friendship, covenants, and confidences. We talked about the power of betrayal in our lives if we deal with it negatively.  It can truly devastate your life.  But maybe the most important thing I said today was this: none of us have the power to choose or control what happens to us.  Let that soak in.  It’s not just a throw-away statement.  You literally have no control over the things that happen to you.

If life weren’t for the broken, messy people, you’d have a little more control, but even then you’re not in control of the circumstances.  But here’s the most important thing: you’re always in control of your responses.  I wrote a whole book about it called, “The Power to Prevail.”  It is the power to prevail: to choose, in the quitting moments, to make the right choice.  We talked about what some of those choices are.

But one of the most important takeaways today is the fact that each one of us are called to relate to the betrayed.  Not only are we betrayed, and sometimes, let’s face it the betrayer, we need to reach out.  And we need to know the three things that the betrayed need: things like protection, perspective, and reconnection to purpose.

Why not comment here on my web site? Let me know how this talk really resonates with you.  You know that the media for this is stored on TheGatheringNashville.com web site.  But it also can be delivered to you automatically on iTunes.

you don’t need easy, you just need worth it!

Years ago a friend gave me a big red button.  When you pushed it a voice would say, “That was easy!”  I’ve come to know that things that are worth knowing, doing, or having don’t come easy.

A great marriage isn’t easy.  Work that you love and makes a difference in the world isn’t easy.  Raising children to be strong, smart, productive adults isn’t easy.  Just managing you’re own fears isn’t easy!

Easy is a myth unless of course you’re talking about how easy it is to destroy, defame, and tear down.  A beautiful home can take years to design and construct, but only a few hours to burn to the ground.

Stop looking for the easy button and only focus and invest in things that are worth the best efforts of your one and only life!

Family: What’s in it for me?

Just a few weeks ago, Paula and I celebrated 40 years of life together.  As a part of the celebration, our daughters and sons in-law got together and took us out for a nice meal.  After that, we went back to one of their homes and they prepared a great video, including dozens of people who love us and who make such a difference in our lives.

At the end of the video they presented us with the photo you see here on my blog.  This is a picture of our three daughters, Erin along with her husband Steve, Lindsey along with her husband Aaron, and Paige along with her fiance Dustin. You’ll notice they are holding out their hands.  In their hand is a heart and within that heart is a number. Those numbers represent the year of our 40-year marriage that they entered our lives.  Needless to say, I was overwhelmed with gratitude, generosity, kindness, and thoughtfulness of my children.

Since that night, I can’t help but think about all the decisions that Paula and I have made during the last 40 years; not the least of which was to have children, to take the risk in the face of questions like: how can we afford it, what will we do about college, what will we do if they hate us, what if something bad happens? Those and ten thousand other questions are really our way of asking, “What’s in it for me?”

So here is my takeaway. Instead of looking at your family as an inconvenience, cost, a bother, people who are either holding you back or keeping you at work late at night to afford the things they want, look at them as an investment.  I’m not talking about a return of dollars, but the return of love; the possibility of a legacy of amazing people who will make the world a better place, who will live their lives to honor God and love people.  Never doubt that what your family costs you is a fraction of what they give back.

If you doubt that or if you say, “That hasn’t been true in my life,” take a look in the mirror.  You get back what you give out.  Pour into your wife,  your husband, your children, to their lives, to their children generously, lavishly.  The Bible is true.  Give and it will be given unto you.

What do you do after dumb?

It’s one thing to suffer at the hands of those who are careless and reckless.  It’s another thing to bear self-inflicted wounds.  What do you do when you’re surrounded with people who are suffering or going through difficult times as a result of their own behaviors?  How do you extend grace to them?  Where does the gospel make sense when you are extending it to people who are abusing it?

There are so many things we don’t talk about in church; especially about the things that have to do with our own misbehavior.  How does God deal with us when we are not just dumb, but downright defiant? What do the Scriptures teach us?  Is there hope for people like us who know better, but don’t do better?

Yesterday we talked about God’s love and the difference between His faithful love and cheap grace.  The fact that God does treat people differently, he doesn’t love us all the same; there is a difference between His covenant love and His offered love.   Find out the difference and make application in your life, your family and the life of your church.  Use it to stimulate conversation.  Let me know if you think I am off base, or if you think I am right on target.

FMBS 032: John 15 – Here’s Why You’re Failing and Frustrated

Ever wonder why you feel so frustrated that no matter how many resolutions you make, how much effort you exert, how many books you read or classes you attend, you seem to stay stuck all the time?   Well, if you’ve ever felt that way, or if you feel that way right now, at the beginning of a new year, you’ve come to the right place.  Because we’re going to be able to learn today, in John 15, why people fail, and why they stay frustrated.

This is the chapter about the vine, about how the life of God flows into ordinary, fractured, broken human beings;  how God takes us where we are, and plants us into himself. He becomes the vine, we’re the branch, and He flows through us.  The life that we live, as Paul said, is not the life that we live, it’s the life He lives through us, so that our fruitfulness and our continued success over time is guaranteed, as long as we don’t forget the vine/branch relationship.

And also, by the way, there’s a reason why so many people don’t like you, why there are people who lie to you, why there are people who betray you, why there are people who walk away just at the right time to cause you the maximum pain and frustration.  It’s all in there.  You’ll find it today in John 15: the vine and the branch theory.

What Do You Do After Dumb?

It’s one thing to suffer at the hands of those who are careless and reckless.  It’s another thing to bear self-inflicted wounds.  What do you do when you’re surrounded with people who are suffering or going through difficult times as a result of their own behaviors?  How do you extend grace to them?  Where does the gospel make sense when you are extending it to people who are abusing it?

There are so many things we don’t talk about in church; especially about the things that have to do with our own misbehavior.  How does God deal with us when we are not just dumb, but downright defiant? What do the Scriptures teach us?  Is there hope for people like us who know better, but don’t do better?

Yesterday we talked about God’s love and the difference between His faithful love and cheap grace.  The fact that God does treat people differently, he doesn’t love us all the same; there is a difference between His covenant love and His offered love.   Find out the difference and make application in your life, your family and the life of your church.  Use it to stimulate conversation.  Let me know if you think I am off base, or if you think I am right on target.