Last week in our Dave Rave we talked about the five things we say we don’t mean. Here are five more.
- This will never change. This is a way of expressing unmet expectations. But it doesn’t communicate why you’re upset, and why the needs weren’t met. It only frustrates the hearer because you’ve not told them what needs to change; just that it will never change. And if it never changes, then there is no hope.
- I hate you. This is usually reserved for the people we love most. Isn’t that exciting? We very rarely say this in work environments but we say it all the time to our friends and especially to our family. These are powerful words and they cut deep. You really don’t hate them, you love them. And that’s why you’ve been so deeply wounded.
- I’ll never get over this. Well the truth is, the sun will come up tomorrow and you will be able to move on. It may not be easy, and it may not be preferable, but you can get over this.
- I can’t go on. This is a cry for help but it doesn’t give me a handle on how you need or want to be helped. It simply frustrates the listener.
- It’s over. Be very careful how you drop this nuclear bomb into any environment. The people who hear it might just take you seriously and you’ll end up on the street without a job, without a family, and without a friend.
Take each one of these points and discuss them with your team, or your family, in your marriage. Do you use any of these? Look at last week’s Dave Rave and see if you’re guilty of saying these things we don’t mean and make changes. It can make all the difference in your future.