One of the most difficult things we face is figuring out how much of the adversity, struggle, revert, or hell we’re going through is our fault, or someone else’s.
Let’s face it. We almost always think it’s someone else. Someone betrayed us, or let us down. But sometimes when things continue to happen, it might be me. Here are the five signs that your biggest problem, adversary, and obstacle to overcome may be you and your bad habits.
- It may be you if you keep hearing everyone saying, “Everyone’s a jerk, everyone’s a liar, no one can be trusted.” Let’s face it. It is true for some people, but not all people. If you hear yourself condemning all people with one blanket condemnation, it just may be you who has a problem with trust.
- It may be you if you think you’re powerless to change your life because of what’s been dome to you. The truth is you always have the power to choose not what happens to you, but what happens to what happens to you; both good and bad. Yes, there are people who can hurt you and betray you. And their betrayals can hurt take you back and at least create a new normal. But even from that starting place, you still have all the power to choose.
- It may be you if you look back and this is the third or fourth time you’ve been fired. Behavior that is not inspected and challenged tends to be repeated. Maybe you’ve gotten yourself into a rut or habit with your way of speaking to people.
- It may be you if you hear yourself saying, “Nobody returns my phone calls or answers my email.” I am not saying this is the case but could it be that you’ve developed a reputation for being the kind of person who sucks the air out of a room? The kind of person no one want s to talk to or respond to? Just asking.
- It may be you if all you think about is getting even. Resentment is a terrible thing. Bitterness is corrosive. And unforgiveness is like hitting yourself in the head with a sledge hammer hoping that your enemy gets a headache. It’s non-productive, self-destructive, and downright wrong.
Take this little self-test and ask, “Am I my biggest problem?” And if the answer is “yes,” here is some great news: you can change all of these qualities the minute you want to. Recognize them, see them, and get them out at arm’s length, and start making better choices.