Do You Know the Difference Between Taking Control and Taking the Lead? (If you don’t, that just may be the source of your problem)

A couple days ago, while out on a training run, I did a video on “Get Some Guts and Take the Lead” in preparation for our “Making Marriage Fun Again” Live Event.

As I thought about it, I’ve come to understand that as the father and husband in my home, I have a role of leadership.  It’s my responsibility to take the lead. But that’s a bit different than trying to take control.

Men, if you’re trying to control your wife, I guarantee you’re miserable, because she can’t be controlled.  She cannot be dominated without being damaged.  Guys, if you’re trying to control your children, you’re miserable.  Your children can’t be dominated without being damaged.  My advice is, stop trying to get control of your family and start getting control of yourself.  After all, you are the only one over whom you have all the power.  Think about it.

None of us can choose our circumstances, what happens from day to day, or how other people will react.  But we are always in control of how we will respond.  We can be proactive to life, or reactive. Control is what we do to ourselves.  Leading is what we do for others.

To take the lead simply means that I take responsibility, that I live up to my commitments; that I live the life that will inspire my wife and my children by my example.  The only power a leader truly has over those who follow him is influence.  And the only way to gain influence is to inspire.

Men, let’s inspire greatness in our marriages, let’s inspire greatness in our children; not by trying to control them, but by taking control of our own lives and being an inspiration.  Then we’ll be an influence. And only then can we take the lead.

In that video, I encouraged men everywhere to take the lead in attending our first Live Event on April 30th.  Don’t wait for your wife to register or talk you into it. Take the lead. Take initiative.  Be the person in your family who is the first to do the right thing; to get the training, the help, and the encouragement your family is always going to need to go from good to great.

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