Marriage in America is in trouble because Americans don’t seem to know what it takes to be married over a lifetime.
We’re great at getting married. As a matter of fact, television is filled with shows about picking out dresses, and getting married, and brides gone wild, and a thousand other variations on the whole “getting married” idea. Few of us really understand what it takes to be married over a lifetime.
There are a lot of symptoms that people point to for the reasons marriages break up. My good friend Dave Ramsey says that the number one reason marriages break up in America is over money fights and disagreements. And with my experience counseling with couples I would tend to agree with that.
But I hear other experts talk about sexual infidelity, lack of communication, lack of shared values, and other important issues.
But if you take all of those symptoms (money fights, sexual infidelity, lack of communication) and really look at them closely, here is the conclusion, at least, I’ve come to. The number one reason why marriages in America break up is because you’re not on the same page.
Have you ever heard that phrase? Maybe it’s at work and you say, “You know we’re really not on the same page here on this project.” It’s true also in sports. Football has a playbook. You run the plays. You have to be on the same page to run the same plays. The truth of the matter is, that’s true in all relationships.
The question is, how do you get on the same page and stay on the same page? That’s equally as important because once you get on the same page, it’s work to stay there over a lifetime.
Ask yourself these questions: If you and your spouse were on the same page, would you be talking more? Would you be laughing more? Would you have more money if you were on the same page when it comes to your finances and particularly your philosophy of debt?
How about parenting? Wouldn’t that be easier, better, more productive if you were on the same page? We all know that children love dividing parents and pitting them against one another. How can they do that? You’re not on the same page.
One of the things Paula and I worked hard at on our “Making Marriage Fun Again” Live Event, is to help people get on the same page and know how to stay on the same page. Really that’s the key to an amazing marriage: getting and staying on the same page. Here is our promise for those who attend our “Making Marriage Fun Again” Live Events. We guarantee that before you leave this event, you and your spouse will be on the same page. Staying on the same page afterward will be up to you. But you will have new tools and motivations to make it happen.