I love being married. It has been the most amazing experience, relationship, and adventure of my life. But I have to admit the biggest part, and I do mean the biggest part, of what makes it so great is that I married a great person.
That having been said, let me speak to those of you who are dating, hope to date, want to get married, engaged, set the date, bought the dress; all of you out there who are about to make the dumbest mistake people make while dating.
Before I give it to you, let’s just describe what dating is. Dating is getting to know one another to see if you’re compatible. But let’s face it. Dating is more emotional than intellectual. Dating is more about how we feel together rather than a fact-gathering excursion. Dating is seeing how we look in our best clothes and at our best behavior. In some ways, let’s be honest, dating isn’t the real world.
It’s no one’s fault. It’s just the nature of the beast. Dating is absolutely essential. So how do you make the most of your time while you’re waiting for mating while dating? Here it is: understand that while you’re dating you need to ask all of the questions that would be important to you after you’re married.
So here it is. The dumbest thing people do while dating is make assumptions. It’s deadly and will come back to bite you later.
How many Christian women haven’t actually asked, “Are you a Christian? What does that mean? How important is it to you?” They just assume. Or they are afraid to ask because maybe the “Jesus” word would turn him off and send him away. But listen ladies, if Jesus is important to you now, He’s going to be important to you after you’re married and you need to find out. Assume nothing.
While you’re dating, you need to ask the hard questions, the probing, penetrating questions. Because after you say, “I do” it’s often too late.
Ask the question about how we’re going to spend money. What about our faith? What church are we going to attend? What do you believe about children? How close can we live to our parents? Do you look at porn and other probing questions that may seem embarrassing, but become really important. You need to ask them earlier rather than later it seems to me.
If there is one gift I can give to my dating brothers and sisters out there, assume nothing. Don’t roll it forward. Ask it now. Right now your feelings will get hurt, but you’ll get over it. Later, it will be divorce court, and it could bankrupt you. At the very least, even if you live with unmet expectations, you’ll be miserable and a great marriage will be beyond your grasp.