Today at The Gathering I took a break from my series called “Loving God,” to speak on the subject “What Women Wish Men Knew.”
I thought since it was Mother’s Day it would be a really great time to talk about men/women relationships as taught from the Scripture, without being pushed through the lens of religion.
Let’s face it, in religion women have not fared very well. We’ve been taught they are second-class citizens, born to be submissive to their husbands. And yet the Scriptures, particularly in Proverbs 31, tell a very different story. It talks about the fact that the godly woman has great character, that her integrity, the strength of her soul and spirit, are far more valuable than any precious diamonds or stones; that her character in full bloom is so powerful it even can affect the career of her husband.
I also talked about the industry of a woman who goes out and buys real estate and sells, makes profit, who has a keen business mind, who takes care of her family, who has an endless and boundless amount of energy. Yea God for a godly woman!
We also discussed that a man should know that a woman is a person, not property. This is particularly important in light of the way women are turned into objects in our present culture. We also talked about the importance of presence, not just presents. Men often excuse their actual physical presence in the home by saying they are out making money so they can live a better lifestyle. Sometimes even for a man it’s hard to believe that his wife and children would rather have him at home than the things he can buy them.
I also talked about the fact that women use their husbands’ eyes as their mirrors. I’ve come to understand that one of the differences between men and women is that women get their self-worth reflectively through how they’re seen in the eyes of other people. And oftentimes when a wife asks her husband, “How do I look in these clothes?” what she’s really saying is, “Tell me that you love me, that you affirm me, that you appreciate me, that you find me beautiful and attractive.” All of this seems to be self-evident, but trust me, it’s not, because we men are way slow on the uptake when it comes to the importance of saying not just the right thing, but the thing that is in our heart.
Talking about the differences between men and women and the rightness of how they get along, can often seem to be only mildly a Christian idea. By that I mean, too many men call themselves Christians and then treat their wives totally opposite of how Christ taught us to treat each other. If I am a follower of Jesus Christ, it must be reflected in the words that I use and the way I use those words with my wife, my daughters, and all the people in my family. It should start at home first. This is how you change culture; one man, one woman, one family, one relationship at a time.
Next week at The Gathering we will be going back to the “Loving God” series based on my newest book, “A Renegade’s Guide to God.” I’ll be talking about “Welcome to the Revolution,” calling for the creation of a renegade nation. Take all those R4G’s and pull them together around what I call a “4-C Covenant,” which creates the foundation on which the renegade nation is mobilized. We’ll also be talking about what we need to do to re-image the church in a culture that sees church as something that’s not that important to our work-a-day lives.