Today @ The Gathering we heard the third installment of our new series, “Angry in America,” with the message entitled “I Use Anger to Punish Myself.”
We reviewed the five myths of anger. Anger is avoidable, bad, always destructive, should never be expressed, and can be managed. We went on to learn about self-inflicted anger as self-loathing that often happens when we find it hard to forgive ourselves for some past indiscretion.
We talked about the three kinds of self-directed anger. They are:
1. An exaggerated self-anger driven by resentment.
2. A simmering self-anger driven by remorse.
3. A gnawing self-anger driven by regret.
One of the most peculiar behaviors that we see among our friends and associates is that oftentimes they self-destruct. It’s not what others do to them, it’s what they do to themselves. It’s almost as though they work and sacrifice to get to a place in their lives, and then self-destruct – do something really stupid – and they destroy a relationship, their career, or reputation at the height of their popularity or success.
We also talked about the three reasons why we keep wrecking our lives.
1. We feel undeserving.
2. We feel unprepared.
3. We feel unworthy.
We ended our talk learning how to get out of our own way. It was a great weekend for those who tend to live in the past with the resentment of what someone has done or failed to do, the remorse over some sin or indiscretion that they’ve committed in the past, or the regret for all the supposed missed opportunities and wasted relationships.
If you’re looking for a way to forgive yourself and get out of your own way, this would be a great talk to share with your friends or to use in your small group Bible study this week.