{"id":1636,"date":"2010-03-12T03:55:48","date_gmt":"2010-03-12T09:55:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/192.185.166.32\/~davidfoster\/?p=1636"},"modified":"2010-03-11T17:07:07","modified_gmt":"2010-03-11T23:07:07","slug":"marriage-may-be-made-in-heaven-but-it-has-to-be-worked-out-here-on-earth","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.davidfoster.tv\/marriage-may-be-made-in-heaven-but-it-has-to-be-worked-out-here-on-earth\/","title":{"rendered":"Marriage May be Made in Heaven, but it Has to be Worked Out Here on Earth"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"In Wednesday\u2019s post I talked about how to write a good title and why it\u2019s important that the title not be catchy or clever, but it should communicate the essence of what you have to offer.\u00a0 Case in point: \u201cMaking Marriage Fun Again.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

As I said Wednesday, life is about making something of yourself; of your resources, talents, gifts, opportunities.\u00a0 Marriage is the same way.\u00a0 Marriage is something that you make over a lifetime.<\/strong> Making marriage is about relationships; relationships that grow deeper, richer, more intimate and profound over time, not overnight.<\/p>\n

In the past I\u2019ve made the mistake of talking about building relationships.\u00a0 As a matter of fact several years ago I did a whole series on “building relationships that last.”\u00a0 Here is the problem with that paradigm: relationships aren\u2019t built; relationships grow<\/strong>.\u00a0 Unhealthy relationships are diseased and die.\u00a0 Healthy relationships grow and multiply.<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s the problem with thinking about your marriage as a building.\u00a0 Buildings are linear; they have a process.\u00a0 If you do certain things in a certain way you get a certain result.\u00a0 For example, there are only so many ways to lay a foundation.\u00a0 Walls have to be straight and they have to support the next floor above them.\u00a0 The idea is that buildings are mechanical.\u00a0 No matter what the facades may look like,\u00a0 on the inside all good strong buildings are the same.\u00a0 And that may be true of marriages as well, but that\u2019s where the analogy falls down.\u00a0 Marriages are grown.\u00a0 Relationships grow.\u00a0 The dating period is the time when we get together to figure out whether or not we have enough compatibility and connection to enter into a covenant as lovers who learn how to love each other well over a lifetime.<\/p>\n

One of the problems we see married people getting into constantly is they try to treat the marriage like a contract<\/strong>: two partners coming together doing certain things and drawing out of the relationship certain benefits.\u00a0 The problem is, marriage is not a contract between two partners.\u00a0 It\u2019s a covenant between two lovers. <\/strong> When I say lovers, I am not talking primarily about sexual contact, though that\u2019s included.<\/p>\n

My job as a man-up man is to love my wife well.\u00a0 That doesn\u2019t just include the bedroom.\u00a0 It includes the kitchen, the living room, the garage, and every other part of our home.\u00a0 To love her well is that I have to know her, be a student and understand her.<\/p>\n

As her husband I help her grow.\u00a0 As a matter of fact, that\u2019s what the word \u201chusband\u201d means in its root.\u00a0 Husbandry is the art of growing things and knowing how to make them healthy.<\/p>\n

Back again to \u201cmaking marriage.\u201d\u00a0 Marriage is something that is created, fashioned, and made between two people.\u00a0 So when we chose the title, \u201cMaking Marriage,\u201d we were pointing exactly toward the nature of what two people do over a lifetime.<\/p>\n

If you think when you said, \u201cI do,\u201d you\u2019re done, you are in deep trouble.\u00a0 \u201cI do\u201d just starts the growing process that lasts a lifetime.<\/p>\n

What are you making of your marriage?\u00a0 As a matter of fact, what you have in your marriage today is what you have been making of it in the past<\/strong>.\u00a0 Now if your marriage is miserable, you can change it today by beginning to make of it something very different.\u00a0 That’s what we\u2019re going to be doing at the \u201cMaking Marriage Fun Again\u201d<\/a> Live Event on April 30th.\u00a0 We\u2019ll be giving people seven super keys toward growing an amazing marriage over time.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

In Wednesday\u2019s post I talked about how to write a good title and why it\u2019s important that the title not be catchy or clever, but it should communicate the essence of what you have to offer.\u00a0 Case in point: \u201cMaking Marriage Fun Again.\u201d As I said Wednesday, life is about making something of yourself; of … Continue reading “Marriage May be Made in Heaven, but it Has to be Worked Out Here on Earth”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[],"series":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.davidfoster.tv\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1636"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.davidfoster.tv\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.davidfoster.tv\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.davidfoster.tv\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.davidfoster.tv\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1636"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.davidfoster.tv\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1636\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.davidfoster.tv\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1636"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.davidfoster.tv\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1636"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.davidfoster.tv\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1636"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.davidfoster.tv\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=1636"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}