Month: May 2010

How to Remember What You Shouldn’t Forget

Happy Memorial Day to everyone out there.  This is the day we set aside to remember those who have gone before us and sacrificed for our freedom. I have one message today, and that is, be careful. Be careful because it is easy to forget that we stand on the shoulders of giants.  It’s easy to forget, especially when you’re going through a difficult time, that the worst day in America is better than the best day in almost every other part of the world. So I invite you today, to remember.

How do you remember what you shouldn’t forget?  Develop an attitude of gratitude, humility, and childlike wonder. Keep these three close to your heart every day.  Resist the cynic and the unbeliever who cast fear wherever they go.

One of the greatest gifts God gives any of us is the ability to remember the good times.  It’s what keeps those who pass away with us.  It’s what helps us revisit old places where great things happen, and be filled with joy.

Happy Memorial Day.  Don’t forget to remember and be grateful, be joyful, be humble, and be filled with wonder.

Today @ The Gathering: Step Two – Look Up: How to Give God the One and Only Thing He Wants

What does God want from you?  If you listen to a lot of religious talk, you’ll get an endless list of: your house, your car, your life, your money, your kids – everything.  And often times you’ll leave confused thinking, “Why did God give me all these things if he only wants them back?” The truth is, God only wants one thing, and one thing alone.  And that is your trust.

So today we talked about how to Look Up.  Not look up to the stars or the sky, or look up to some small-g god, but look up to the God Who created you and redeemed you.

That leads us to the question: “What do you believe in?” We talked about the four choices that you have: I believe in me, I believe in nothing, I believe in everything, I’m a truth-seeker.

This is an important issue, for no one is a Christian because they’re a Christian.  At least, they shouldn’t claim to be. The truth is, Jesus Christ was very clear about his truth claims, that He and The Father are One, He is God incarnate; that He is our one and only God, Lord, and Savior.  We need to embrace Him that way, or not at all.

We gave the options you have when it comes to Christ; you have to choose one and then live with it.

Then we talked about the three demands God makes on your life before a genuine connection is made.  We talked about what they were and how to make them work for you.

Tomorrow @ The Gathering -12 Steps Up: Look Up

Last weekend we began a brand new series @ The Gathering called “12 Steps Up: How messy people mature.”

We’re taking the 12 steps from AA, an amazing process of not just recovery, but maturation, and applying it to everyday life.

Last week we started with Step One: Wake up.  Wake up and recognize that you are powerless to change your life.  You’re powerless over the ups and downs, the adversities.  It rains.  It rains on the good and the bad.

The second step is Look Up. When you wake up, and you look around and see the reality of your life, you have one of three choices.  You can look out around you to circumstances – good or bad – knowing that if they are good today, they could change tomorrow on a dime and be bad.  Or you can look to the people who may or may not be there for you.

Once you’ve looked outward, you can look inward and you see the wounds and the pain.  You see things in your life and your attitude that make you sad and angry because they are things you can’t seem to let go of and get over.  And then you can look up. That’s what happens in the second step.  We begin to believe that a power greater than us can restore us to sanity.

So tomorrow we’re going to be talking about how to Look Up in real, practical terms; not just some religious cosmetic cover-up of how life really is, but how we can truly, truly look up and connect to God in powerful ways.  Tomorrow we’ll talk about three things God dares us to do, and the one thing we have, only one, that He wants.  God doesn’t want your car, your house, your money.  He doesn’t want your song.  He doesn’t want your attention.  But there is one thing He desires.  We’ll talk about it.

How to Start Something Big: Step 3

The past several installments I’ve been talking about switching from a work for the man mentality to a mind my own business attitude.

In the brave new world that’s being constructed around us we must become, like it or not, more responsible for our own lives.  Attendance-based employment which simply means, show up and we’ll give you a paycheck, is on its way out.  Performance-based, need-meeting reward is now taking its place.

So far I’ve talked about to start a business, to develop a mind my own business mentality, you need a core set of beliefs about how the world ought to be.  You need a calling, which gives you a sense of internal motivation as to what you care about.  And that gets further extended into the third thing you need, and that’s a cause.

A cause is something that matters to you. It gets your blood pumping.  It will get you up and get you moving every Monday morning for the next 40 years.  A cause is something that’s wrong or lacking that you care enough about to move into, to dedicate your life to try to plug up that hole.

Your cause may be justice, it may be healing, it may be making life easier for someone.  Your calling may push you to be a songwriter, a poet, a doctor, a professional, even a ditch-digger, because we do need ditches and somebody has to dig them.  Or, like my father, a road-maker.

Cause is something that you’re willing to dedicate yourself to the education, preparation, and dedication to be great at.  It’s as Malcolm Gladwell said in his latest book, Outliers, it’s the area you’re willing to spend 10,000 hours to become great.

So ask yourself, “What wrong needs to be righted, what load needs to be lifted, what gaping need needs to be met?”

For me and Paula, our passion since the day we got married at 18,  has always been to help people connect to God in a real way.  We set about giving real hope to real people in the real world, helping people grow great relationships over time, helping people find ways to get in on what God’s doing in our world. It’s been a constant, ongoing passion.  It’s moved us several times, we started two churches, and after having been in the people-helping business, we’re as passionate today as we were the first day we started over 38 years ago.

This decision on what your cause in life is going to be is important because it needs to match up and come into alignment with your calling.  This is important because if your calling and your cause are in alignment, firmly founded on your core beliefs, then you will never, ever, (get this, this is the good news, listen, write this down) ever have to retire.  You’ll never have to move to South Florida, buy a small condo, and wander around the mall looking for the latest soft-serve yogurt.

You want to be employed the rest of your life with something meaningful, important, and most of all, rewarding.

Check Out the David and Paula Show This Morning @ 10:00 AM Central

Hey, check out The David and Paula Show this morning, live, @ 10:00 AM from Nashville, Tennessee.

The David and Paula Show is a show about your life and your relationships, how you can grow them great over time, and how you can respond to them if you feel like they are stuck or going nowhere.

We give practical help to your questions.  To submit your questions email us at radio@davidfoster.tv or call us @  615-807-0386.  Leave a brief message that’s to the point and anonymous, and we will answer your question on the show today.

How to Start Something Big: Step 2

The very first thing you need to start a great company is a set of core beliefs and values.  These are the never-changing part of your life that equip you to face the ever-changing realities of the 21st Century world.

The second thing you absolutely need to start a great business is a calling.  This is what makes these core beliefs personal.  There are core beliefs everywhere; in the Bible, the Talmud, the Koran.  There are rule books, books on best practices that all of us can access.  There are true statements floating around everywhere.  And just because they are true doesn’t mean that they do anything to change the world. It’s when beliefs get down in your soul and you sense a calling to those beliefs; to that little part of the world that has a gaping need, injustice, or wrong that what you believe and what you are can change.

A calling will help you prevail through the adversities that always come in any start-up business,  because life likes to kill great companies in the infant stage.  And usually the first attack is not on the mission, but on the missionary; not on a vision, but on a visionary.  That’s why you need a calling down deep inside; an inner conviction that you have been called to this, that you are here for this purpose on the planet: a core and a calling fused together in a mighty force of self-determination, emotional initiative, and intellectual focus to create a fire that burns bright within you.  And until that fire burns bright in you, you can’t expect it to burn bright in anyone else.

Here’s what we’re looking for in our world; not more executives, not more information, we need to be inspired.  We yearn for it. We go to church for it, we read the Bible to gain it, we buy books to receive it.  And the man or woman with a core set of beliefs and a calling is unstoppable.

Today @ The Gathering: Wake Up

Today we began a brand new series entitled “12 Steps Up.” We’ll be talking about how messy people mature over time. We’re using the 12 Steps of AA in making application in our everyday lives; not just how we defeat the demons of our addictions, but how we actually grow up and mature as people.

The first step of course is Wake Up. How many people have you seen and said to yourself, “That person is sleepwalking through life”?

Today we talked about the ways in which we try to get other people to wake up. We shout at them, we “should” them, shame them, and often we shun them but it doesn’t seem to work.

We also looked at how people can hide their addictive lifestyles for so long. We talked about the different ways we all choose a different drug of choice. Not all the things we use to medicate our pain are socially unacceptable. Some things we’re even rewarded for like using work to get approval.

We talked about how to truly wake up and live using the letters ESPN. We talked about exposure, surrender, promise, and getting a new name. Anyone can be set free from their addictions no matter what it is or how long it’s been hanging around. But the first step is to wake up and confess that you are powerless over your addictions, you are powerless to be set free from the things holding you back, and that you need God’s power.

God opposes the proud, but gives mercy to the humble, the Scriptures say. The question is, “When was the last time you humbled yourself before God and used your adversity – whether it’s a flood, cancer, loss of a job, a divorce, or the estrangement from a child – as a wake-up call, to not just see life differently, but to be different?”

How to Start Your Own Business: Step 1

Alright, for the past couple of days I’ve been advocating a “mind your own business” mentality rather than a “work for the man” attitude.

Why is this important?  It’s because we need people just like you, with talent, faith, and heart to create more businesses that meet the gaping needs that we see in our society.  And they are growing every single day.  They are everywhere, all around you.

So, here’s the first thing you need to start a great business: you need a core.  And here is why a core is important.

  • A set of beliefs and values help define for you the way life ought to be.
  • These beliefs and values give you a starting point or an anchor from which to view the world as it is.
  • The gap that exists between the world as it should be according to your beliefs and values, and how it really is as you look out at it every day, becomes the market into which your new company can thrive.
  • A core helps your business know what is ever-changing as opposed to what is never-changing.  Beliefs and values endure.  Technologies and strategies morph and evolve.
  • Your core and how you relate it to the real world is your unique perspective. It’s how you see how things can be, as opposed to how they are.  So at the very heart of every great enterprise are a set of core beliefs and values.  These beliefs and values represent the foundation, the fundamentals, the big “why.”

Remember, people don’t pay premium prices for Apple products just because they’re shiny. They’re attracted to them because there’s a very well-defined set of core beliefs and values that the people who own and use those products care about and are willing to pay for.

You’d be Surprised at What You Don’t Need to Start Something Big

Yesterday I advocated a “mind my own business” mentality as opposed to a “working for the man” mentality.  I’ve seen this demonstrated so vividly in the way Nashvillians have dealt with our flood.  I haven’t seen one house or one neighborhood sit around waiting for the government to take care of them.  What I have seen is literally hundreds of men, women, and children doing the back-breaking, nasty, repulsive work of cleaning out the sewage and the muck that a flood always leaves behind.

I’ve seen hard-working people get in and take initiative.  And that makes all the difference.

So let’s apply this same “mind my own business” mentality to starting a business. My question to you is, “Why would you ever work for someone else?”

I know that there are some that should; hospitals, other kinds of organizations that need systems and people to fill them.  But still, even then, you are working for yourself.

There are three things people think you absolutely have to have in order to start something.  And they would be wrong.  Here they are:

  1. If you’re going to start a business, you need cash.  I heard a guy just the other day say that he was going to start the business of his dreams and he was going to have to borrow a million dollars.  I thought, “Oh, what a prescription for disaster.”  You don’t need a million dollars.  You don’t even need two dollars.  Cash is way overrated.  Most people have cash and burn through it because they don’t have any business sense.
  2. You don’t need connections. I’ll be the first to admit that connections are important.  The mission statement of the church I serve today is to “help people connect to God and each other.”  But that having been said, you don’t have to have a lot of connections to start out with.  Who does?  You build them over time.
  3. Some people believe in order to start something big, they need control. They need control of market shares or sources of production; they need to be able to somehow have superior knowledge that’s not available to others.  And they would be wrong.

How many times have I heard people give excuses as to why they can’t do something only because they don’t have the cash, they don’t have the connections, or they don’t have the control?  These things are nice and they come with time.  But no one starts out with them, unless of course you’re a Vanderbilt, a Getty, or a Carnegie.

How to Adopt a Mind-Your-Own-Business Mentality

One of the things I am learning as I get older is that people can fit into two very distinct categories.  I’ve seen them evident during the recent flood in our city.  It’s the “work-for-the-man” mentality, and the “mind-your-own-business” mentality.

I was raised with the “work-for-the-man” mentality which basically says you show up, you put in time, and people pay you whatever they think you’re worth.

So the worth of your life, the worth of your work was set by the market forces outside of you. Most of the people with the “work-for-the-man” mentality think they are underpaid.  And sometimes they are.  But oftentimes they are not because they just show up without the desire to produce anything, create anything, or generate any wealth.

There’s another mentality that says that I should mind my own business. And I don’t mean just to not meddle in someone else’s affairs, but that I work for myself.  As a person of faith of course I believe I work for and serve God.  But that having been said, I work for myself.  That’s why as a young pastor I’ve never been good at working for deacon boards and other out of date committee structures.  And that’s why when threatened to conform or be fired, I of course chose to be fired.

Having gone through the ups and downs of being in business for myself, I’ll tell you that I will choose being in business over working for someone else. It’s the exhilaration that comes from knowing that you get up every day and add value, that you help people, or you die.

I think more Christians should adopt a mind-my-own-business mentality. That is to start something important and significant, to meet big needs, to create companies that hire people and pay taxes and help lift society.

It’s not the preachers in the pulpits or the singers in the band; it’s the business men and women motivated for the right reasons: to build something of their lives, to make something of themselves that will save our world.

Things I’m Learning From the Flood

As odd as it may sound, life in Nashville seems to be getting back to normal.  But it is, most definitely a new normal.

People are still devastated, many homes have not even been touched, and people are walking away from their entire life’s work in frustration and despair.

But on the other hand, there are a lot of stories that we will hear, songs will be written that have been inspired by the selfless acts of good people, and I dare say we may even have a movie.

So in the in between, these are the things that I am learning from the flood.

  1. It rains on the good and the not so good. There is no reasoning why it flooded in certain places.  It just did.  It was, you might say, a perfect storm.  It rains.  If it didn’t rain on you, it’ll be your turn next time.
  2. Stuff ruins when wet. The economy has gone a long way toward breaking us from being total consumers.  The flood in our city will also help.  It will help us put our stuff in perspective.  It’s great to have stuff, nice homes, boats, cars, and motorcycles.  But stuff ruins when wet.  It doesn’t endure, it doesn’t come to stay, and it can’t give you ultimate satisfaction.
  3. There are good people who will move into action without having to be asked or forced: a lot of good, generous people out there who live out their faith in loving sacrificial ways.  I’ve seen it as I walk through this city.
  4. Churches are not good at helping people. Here’s what I mean. That’s certainly not true if you believe that the church is its people.  And when they move into action based on their convictions, then churches do a lot of good.  But as organizations, churches really suck at getting much done. I’ve seen that too as I’ve walked through the floods.  I’ve seen the sad thing happen again. Some people are just looking for credit, to make videos to show how good they are.
  5. I’ve learned that hope is the best of things. The hope of rebuilding, the hope of coming back when you’re down is a great motivator and strengthener.
  6. I’ve also learned with this flood that despair is the worst thing that can take over a man or a woman.  Not the loss of a home, not the loss of a job, or your worldly possessions, not even your memories; but when despair overwhelms you, you’re done.  You’re toast.

That’s why hope is the best of things.  And that’s why I am learning to hope for better days after the flood.

Today @ The Gathering: How to Start Something

Well now that we’re working hard to recover from the flood here in Nashville, I can’t think of a better time to talk about not just how to start over, but how to start something new, fresh, bold, and exciting.

Often times in church we talk about theoretical things.  Hardly do we ever talk about the application or the “how-to’s.”   So the past several weeks in the HOW series, we’ve talked about How to Make Peace With God, How to Hear From God, How to Manage Stress, and today we talked about How to Start Something.

I was raised in a blue-collar home where my parents worked for other people.  We had a “work for the man” mentality.  And yet as I’ve grown and gotten older, I’ve realized that every person truly does work for themselves. You are your own corporation. You may show up and punch a clock and get paid so much, but the truth is when you stand before God you’re going to be responsible for the work that you’ve done; not the corporation, not the company, not “the man.”

Often we think to start something you have to have cash, connections, and control.  Those are the three big ones, aren’t they?  With those, you can do anything. The truth of the matter is those three commodities come and go, ebb and flow throughout all of life.

Yeah, cash can buy you a lot of stuff, but it can’t buy you success. Connections can help get you to the right places but they can’t convince the right people to be part of your venture.  And control is really great when you’re up.  You can treat people any way you want to.  But the truth is, what comes up always goes down.  And when you lose control, then what do you do?

If you really want to start something – a business, an idea, a movement – to not just make money (although you can do that) but to change the world, to leave a legacy, and make a difference, all you need is four things.  You need a core, you need a calling, you need a cause, and you need a conduit.

Today we talked about how each one of these comes out of the other.  Without a solid core, you won’t be able to survive the changes that are inevitably going to come.  Without a sense of calling, you’ll bring no identity or uniqueness to what you do.  Without a sense of cause, you’ll give up and quit.  And without a conduit or a platform, no one will ever know who you are, or what you offer.